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For Employers Stories A supportive employer
For Employers Stories A supportive employer
| A supportive employer |
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| Thursday, 11 December 2008 00:00 | |||||||
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A few months ago, my partner Peter was very ill. Then he went into hospital, just when I was starting a new job and a new role for me. I had to go to the hospital a lot to speak to staff, and my employer was very supportive. I’d like to share my story so other working carers can see that it’s possible - and positive - to work and care at the same time.
Peter has dementia, so when he went into hospital, he needed someone there to explain things to hospital staff, fill in forms etc. I wanted to talk to the hospital doctor, as his regular GP didn’t have visiting rights. But as anyone who has been in hospital before knows, you can’t always tell when the doctor is going to come by. The nurses would say the doctor was going to do his rounds early, so I would be there by 8 a.m. When the doctor hadn’t arrived by 9 a.m., I would get anxious. Then the nurses would say if he’s not here by 9 it will probably be lunchtime before he gets here. I would have to call work and say I would be late. Peter was in hospital for three weeks the first time and then again later. During that time he was very sick and there were a lot of complications. I had to be there to talk with the hospital staff. When he got better he still had trouble eating and drinking. I would go to the hospital every day after work and during the day when I could. My job was a casual relief position, so at first I thought my manager would get someone else in. But she didn’t, and I was surprised. She let me know it was my call, my decision, up to me to say I couldn’t manage. Of course I’m sure if I’d made bad judgments at work they would have told me, but it worked out okay. I felt supported but I also felt work was important. There was an expectation that I continue to do the job or give up.
How did I manage? I let work know Peter was my first priority. I kept notes of the time I was away from work. I felt that as my work was casual and the hospital was close by that I could juggle both. I knew I could accrue a certain amount of time as flexible time and make it up later, which I did. I adjusted my hours so I could take a day off here and there. It was actually good to be working at the same time as dealing with a painful and difficult situation, as it meant I could focus on something else. I was very distressed about Peter - I wasn’t sure if he was going to recover at one point. The shock that he could die during a complex treatment meant I was disturbed but I was very supported by people at work and the attitude of the manager. I was surprised at my manager’s unspoken confidence in me, and how easy it was to arrange things with her and how this made a difficult situation manageable. Leaving the decision to me about continuing to work was empowering. For me that was a really good approach. I felt respected. It was a professional thing to do. My manager was very empathic and her understanding of my situation was communicated very sympathetically. I’d like to think all employers could be similarly supportive at such times of need. It meant I kept my job, which was important to me, and I got the work done as well. I think it is important not to underestimate the difficulty of working and caring at the same time. Even when employers are supportive, this was an emotionally and physically exhausting situation and some weeks later when Easter came around I was relieved to take a few days off for a proper refreshing break! My conclusion is that working and caring at the same time is not easy, but it is manageable with support. What next? If you would like more information or to discuss the issues raised in this article you may like to try:
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