Thomas Markham has a double caring role. During his working week he supports people living with HIV/AIDS in a community setting in Sydney; at night and on weekends he cares for a friend with the condition.

For Thomas, both roles are a labour of love. “I love what I am doing,” he said. “I absolutely love that I can help people and make such a difference in their lives. It gives me the greatest pleasure and there isn’t anything else in the world I’d rather do more.”

Thomas’s friend also suffers from bipolar disorder, making caring for him a little more complicated at times.

“He has his difficult days when he has terrible mood swings. I might come over to his house to find him curled up in a foetal position, crying his heart out, or he might be very loud and argumentative. Another day he will be popping out of his skin with enthusiasm for life. It is very up and down,” Thomas said.

“I just try and stay calm and reassuring and provide consistency in his life. He has no-one else to care for him and I am glad that I can make his life a little less vulnerable.

“When I go home to my own house, it feels like a sanctuary, a place of refuge, where I can unwind. I love the quietness and freedom of having my own space, but after re-charging my batteries I feel ready to jump back into my caring role again.”

Thomas also takes a break from his caring duties when he has a weekly family get-together.

“We all get together for dinner once a week and that is a great time to debrief and get support and encouragement from mum and dad and my sister,” Thomas said.

“I was brought up in a very caring family with parents who really looked out for everyone in their local community, so I have had the best role models.

“Mum would be the first one to cook a meal for someone who was at home sick and dad will always put his hand up to help a neighbour, whatever the job is.

“That sort of family background rubs off on you and for me, it seems natural to take on a caring role. I really enjoy it and find it very sustaining and fulfilling.”

When Thomas is caring for his friend he does tasks like doing the shopping, preparing meals, taking him to doctor’s appointments, cleaning the house and going out together. He helps him manage his money and his medications and generally makes sure he is well cared for.

“I have bought him a washing machine, fridge and a TV as he wasn’t able to afford these on a disability pension,” Thomas said.

“I am glad I am in a position to help a fellow human being. We have become good friends and I feel this person relies on me a lot now, so I could never let him down and not help out. It wouldn’t be right.”

In his paid work at a respite centre, Thomas helps people with HIV/AIDS to find long-term accommodation and connects them with the many support networks that are available to them to help them lead a full life in the community.

“The centre is for people who are not coping alone,” Thomas said. “Typically they have nowhere to live and have very little support from family or friends.

“We get referrals from social workers, hospitals and community workers and then support these clients for varying lengths of time until they are able to live independently in the community. Some stay for months and some just for a few weeks.

“You get to know the people really well and it is easy to form friendships with them, which is a nice part of the job.   

“I don’t smoke, drink or take drugs because I get such a buzz out of helping others. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”