My name is Marleen and I have been my husband’s carer for 24 years.

He has an acquired brain injury (ABI) and consequently there has been a lot of deterioration is his condition over the last 24 years.

Just recently we had to make the sad decision that he is no longer safe to be left on his own or to go alone on shopping trips into town.

While he was out alone recently he was run into by a bus and as a result now has a broken right arm. The same day he had a major fall onto his right-hand side because he couldn’t wait to go to the bathroom.

On top of that, he has a broken left wrist that doesn’t want to heal from an accident he had during cyclone Yasi!

So how does a wife/carer/friend make the decision to send her husband into full-time care? It is a horrible time. It is like someone has died but they are still there, they are still suffering.

Having made that difficult decision, I find that one difference is that the burden that was once mine alone is now being shared by many. What I used to do alone now takes at least 10 or 15 staff members throughout the day and night.

But at home the house is quiet. No TV blaring; no yelling for this or that because he has become so deaf and his hearing aid batteries are flat and he can’t hear himself yelling.

Anyone might think reading this that life is all bad … not at all! I love my husband dearly and am very sad to be in the house alone. My companion, my friend, is a long way away.

We have mobile phones but the sound quality leaves a lot to be desired and a short conversation takes hours due to having to repeat things.

Dementia is another part of the story and that condition doesn’t add a single good thing. But does it change the love and care and the emotions of being apart? NO! Absolutely not! We have shared so many great times with our four kids and eight grandkids and other extended family.

We have seen a lot of Australia together throughout the years and have had such great fun playing lots of games. Life is a strange thing. We look for a partner for life, we find them, and then there is that time when we cannot be together any longer.

When does caring stop? When Centrelink no longer pays you a carer’s allowance? No! Who cares about that? Is it when they no longer know who you are? No, it is not! Is it when they pass on? No! Never! They are a part of our DNA and are tied to our soul strings forever. We will never be apart although distance may be there.

Where there is love, distance means nothing – even if they are in another spiritual dimension.

I love you my darling Pete and will always do so! Your wife forever! Marls xxx.