Melanie is 45 and a single mum with three children, one of whom has a disability.

Melanie works full-time as a nurse in an aged care facility as well as caring for her daughter, Kelly, who has significant disabilities and her two other teenage children.

Melanie has reasonable support from her employer and is able to work a regular shift that helps her to plan around the complex and varied needs of all her children, including the many regular health appointments which Kelly needs.

Kelly is relatively physically able and can manage to remain at home independently during the day.

“Kelly has been my inspiration and my joy. She has brought me so many incredible gifts and challenges!” Melanie said.

“I have been tested on every level and hence have grown on every level. This is why I am so grateful that I have her in my life. Without her I would not be as strong, courageous or as appreciative of life as I am now.”

Kelly has several neurological and psychiatric diagnoses.

“But that is secondary to who she is as a person and to the benefits and strengths she has gained from accepting and overcoming those challenges and labels,” Melanie said.

“She lives with daily incontinence, moments of extreme despair and frustration (as I do at times as well!) and also suffers from sleeplessness and poor motor skills.

“But the gifts she has given to me to me and our whole family are beyond measure.

“Her disabilities never stop her from loving people, caring for even the smallest animal, savouring every moment of life and of all experiences, and having a huge thirst for knowledge and giving her best at all times.

“My daughter has taught me patience, gratitude, the importance of friends, truth, courage, and the importance of living in the “now” … true love, passion, determination … she has taught me about everything that is important in life and love.

“Kelly has taught me that I am a ‘good enough’ mother, that I have value and an immense purpose in life beyond my own self-centred desires.

“Her love and strength gives me motivation and encouragement to keep trying during the tough times – just as she does.

“These gifts have enabled me to be a much calmer, more compassionate and non-judgemental professional who can truly empathise with my patients.

“At the same time, I have learnt that if I don’t nurture myself, I cannot care for her, my other two children or my patients.

“So each day, even if it is just for a few minutes, I ensure that I remind myself that I am a woman of incredible value who deserves much love and compassion – and that I am capable of giving that to myself, even if it is not available at that time from someone else (which is hard when you are a single parent).

“Each day I remind myself not only of my value and strengths, but of all that my daughter has given me and taught me.

“I notice each small and beautiful moment (and there are many) when I am with her. I acknowledge all the ways I love and care for her and give thanks that I am able to in fact care for her like I do, because I know how much she appreciates it and how it changes her life in that moment for the better.

“And knowing that her life is a little better because of who I am to her, and what I give, is all the reward and recognition I need.

“I look forward to learning, growing and loving with her by my side. It will be a remarkable journey I am sure, even if it is one that at times feels daunting and exhausting.

“But I just look at the joy, determination and passion in my daughter’s beautiful face and know that that we are ready and that we will make this journey a most worthwhile one!”